I'm BACK.

Yes, yes, I was dead, now I'm back, yadda yadda. I committed suicide and Sherlock did too. All details on dear Handsome's blog.

How did I fake my death? Well .. I'm not telling you. Where's the fun in revealing all the little tricks? A magician never reveals his secrets. And since I'm so many things already I may as well add magician onto it!

I do have to admit that perhaps it was not my greatest of plans. I did kill my favourite toy. And I missed the children, as shocking as that is. Oh? I haven't told you about them? Well ..

After I had kidnapped Sherlock for some small amount of time - and subsequently revealed myself to Handsome as being myself - I did a little bit of science. I created two little boys. One I handed over to the Holmes family (specifically the lady of the family), and that would be 'Ewan James Holmes'. By the look at him, taking into consideration his small body and relative weakness just from creation, he would be no help to me if I were to raise him.

The other child I kept. 'Eoin Ardan Holmes'. He was barely older, barely bigger, but there was a sharpness already reflected in his eyes which I had to compare to myself and Sherlock.

When I - briefly - moved in with Handsome after declaring that I felt some alien emotion towards him (again, details on his blog), it was strange. It was almost like I truly had a family. And I do not recall ever having a proper family. As a toddler, I came the closest. Being employer of two brothers would never be counted as family - Idiot and I are hardly close, and Coded and I rather separated after I had him become Handsome's personal assistant some time ago.

But there I was, in the house of the British Government, with two boys and my .. lover. And I was happy. As much as I could be when I was frequently told that destroying Buckingham Palace, Sandringham Estate or Windsor was not allowed.

And then I continued the game with Sherlock.

We reached the end. I shot myself, 'killed' myself in front of Sherlock, just to make him kill himself as well. And he did.

Yesterday was my funeral. Once it was done, I summoned Handsome to an abandoned house. And together we told a story .. it ended with myself going down on my knees and pleading with him not to leave, but he did. But I am quick, and I stopped him.

Now I have to regain as much trust from Handsome as I possibly can. And somehow try to explain to two intelligent toddlers that I am alive and staying. If allowed.

Over a few days, I can already tell that the boys have changed considerably. Ewan is .. louder, more emotionally unstable. Eoin seems colder, and far more clingy to Handsome. Neither will look at me for too long.

Ciao.
JA.